The Adventures of Dr Urchin, part II

The Adventures of Dr. Urchin, part II, or "How People Whose Names Are Not In the Phone Book Don't Get Located"

Saturday night, smoofie in hand and dog on leash, I went walking down 33rd street, going west. (A smoofie is a delicious combination of espresso and frozen yogurt, served only at Vintage Coffee, 940 NW 150th street, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. The gentleman "Alan" whom I refer to owns this shop.) It was that time of twilight that I particularly love, when the sun is going down, storm clouds are rolling in, and night creatures are just deciding to wake up. Several people honked and waved at me on the road. Were they mistaking me for some acquaintance of theirs? Was is someone who actually knew me, honking to say hello? Or did they just think my dog was incredibly beautiful, and were saying hello to the dog? She is, by the way. No matter what their motives were, I smiled and waved back. Having walked as far as some elementary school, I threw away my empty smoofie cup in the trash, and started walking back to where I had left my car. I greeted the friendly guys working at Vintage coffee as they were closing up, put my dog in the back seat, and went driving back to my hotel. By the way, those guys really are fantastic, Alan. I'll bet everybody wishes they could get cheerful and competent help like that!

I had brought an altogether new book along with me, so I read myself to sleep, falling asleep quite early for me - 10:30 or thereabouts. Strange, unpleasant dreams, but we will refrain from recounting them here. It was nonetheless a very good night's rest.

The next day, after doing a few morning things, the sort of things one does on a Sunday morning, it now being 10 o' clock, I went to look for a place with long trails to walk. There is a large lake near Norman, with a convenient state park there. Perhaps it was raining just a little bit, but I didn't let that hold me back, nor did my hound let it hold her back. We went up and down the trails. I decided that she was a useless tracker, when she couldn't even find the two foot long snake a mere foot in front of her. Good thing it wasn't poisonous, or it would have bitten her when she sat on it. Eventually, I got bored of trails, and cut through the bracken to go deeper into the forest. Mind you, I was armed with lots of mosquito repellent, so they came all about me, but not one of them bit me. We found lots of pretty jelly fungi in the forest, an inquisitive squirrel, and an enterprising box turtle (a tortoise, actually) who refused to accept the fact that he was on somebody's endangered species list. My dog introduced herself to the tortoise by sticking her nose under its shell and flipping it over. I doubt the tortoise liked us very much, so I turned it over again, apologized to it, and took my dog away from there. Sitting on a stone picnic table, looking at the lake, a bluebird landed next to me, and took the food I offered. Remarkably tame bird, I thought. I hadn't even known that bluebirds lived in Oklahoma until yesterday!

Being covered with mud and somewhat cold, I drove way back to the north side of the city, bathed, went swimming, and combed the burrs out of my dog.

At that moment, I was struck by a bright idea: I had missed people the day before, but perhaps I could invite them out to dinner on Sunday night. The worst that could happen would be that everyone would decline! So I rousted out a phone book from my room, a somewhat old and tattered phone book. My first difficulty lay in the fact that there is neither a "Meems" nor a "Teffertoes" anywhere in the Greater Oklahoma City Metropolitan Area Phonebook. That part didn't surprise me very much, but fortunately, I happen to know both lovely young ladies' real names, in full. So I went looking for those. That's where the surprising snag was. According the the GOCMAPbook, they don't exist under their real names, either. That struck me as incredibly unjust. I will admit, sitting here now, in comfort and at leisure to consider the matter fully, the book was somewhat old, and probably was printed back in the days when neither of them lived in OKC. But my hypothesis at the time was, "deliberately choose to be unlisted; how unlucky for me." I saw no solution to it, so I threw up my hands. Having some time to kill, I had taken my dog to Oklahoma Christian U, just because they had a nice fountain that I had seen, and I wanted a place to read in peace. So, I read my book for a few more hours until dinner time, then went out hunting for a nice place to eat. The waiter looked really tired, told me he had been on shift for ten hours, and that lots of people were being awful. I told him he was doing a fine job, and should be commended for restraining his temper. Overall, I had a very good meal. Italian. I love Italian food.

I went to bed again, planning to be up very early and at the coffee shop for a few hours, just in case anyone else goes out for an early cup of coffee. It seemed unlikely, but more likely to meet someone I knew at Vintage Coffee than anywhere else, no? Anyways, if I didn't mention it before, the coffee is REALLY good there, and I like good coffee. I spoke to Alan's wife, whom I thought a very pleasant lady. She and the two people working the bar were making everyone who came in feel welcome. I penned off a couple of important letters, looked at clouds outside the window, and once more picked up my book. Sadly, though lots of people came to the coffee shop, there was no one who would have known me. It was time to go. I wrote a note to Alan, expressing my regret at missing him, purchased one (or two) for the road, and set out for the long drive home.

Curiously few interruptions along the way. One somewhat uncanny experience as I was passing through Dallas. I was coming in from the north, and there was lightning flickering in the dark and looming clouds over the city. I saw vultures circling ahead. Suddenly, I had the most unnerving impression that the whole city was decayed. The words that impressed themselves into my mind were "this is a place made entirely of glass and bone." I **HAD** been intending to stop at a very nice restaurant I know to get some lunch before resuming my journey, but after that strange moment, I decided to skip through this town as quickly as possible, and get away from Dallas. Now, I must confess, having visionary experiences anywhere between the I-35/635 junction at the north and the I-35/I-30 junction to the south is very very unsafe. I don't recommend it to anybody, because it is likely to impair your driving while you are dealing with some very hazardous and badly constructed interchanges. I forced myself to put everything out of my head and think only about the large truck trying to force itself into my lane. But I was just as glad to be away from Dallas a little while later.

Seven hours after leaving OKC, I got back to my house. The grass needs mowing. It's going to rain, and apparently has already. It's good to be home.

It was something of an adventure. Not what I expected, but probably what was good for me. It also gave me long time to reflect on where I am going. There are some things I need to do, which I doubt I would have considered had I not lost those many hours on the road going up. So, all in all, I am grateful. I am very sorry to have missed seeing any of my friends though.

Alan, thank you for that wonderful coffee shop experience. It is just the sort of place I like. I hope your business prospers.

The Adventures of Dr Urchin, part I

AN ACCOUNT OF MY DOINGS, for the benefit of my friends, and with apologies to two particulary beautiful young women

When I go out seeking adventure, I usually find it, though not in the form of whatever I was actually expecting. In this case, I was expecting to spend a lovely couple of days at Lake Eufala, Oklahoma, on Saturday popping by two join two particularly beautiful young women (see the title) at a certain coffee shop in Oklahoma. Mind you, it's not everyone I would drive several hundred miles out of my way to go see, but in this case I was very much looking forward to the meeting.

However - and it is appropriate to interject this comment at this point - God and I do not always see eye to eye about where I am going to be and when. No doubt it is due to this disagreement, and to the fact that He always happens to win any argument (He cheats), that I have never LIKED God very much, though I serve him gladly, and even with love.

It is normally only about a seven hour drive from here to Oklahoma City. I set out on my trip very early on Saturday morning intending to pass through Eufala first to secure my hotel reservations, and expected to be at OKC by about 4 in the afternoon. The delays began immediately. In fact, there was the most improbable series of misfortunes on the road, none being catastrophic, but each taking off another quarter of an hour. No need to recount them all. They were mostly aggravating and some a little bit humiliating, as they were the consequence of my own wrong turns. Suffice to say that I started to get really annoyed after a while, and didn't reach Eufala until 4pm. This had made what should have been a six hour drive into a ten hour drive. I suspected already that there was intelligence behind my setbacks, and was not overly pleased.

But the capper was when I went to get my hotel. The exchange went something like this:

"Hello, my name is Dr Urchin, and I believe I have a reservation." (In fact, I used my real name.)

"I'm sorry, sir, we have no one reserved here under that name."

"There must be some mistake. Here is my confirmation number."

"Thank you, sir, I will go check and be right back with you."

A moment or two passed, then the young lady and her manager returned, looking somewhat apologetic. The manager looked at me and said:

"I'm sorry, but this reservation is for our hotel in Eufala, ALABAMA."

I would like to say that my jaw hit the floor, or that I exploded in rage or something like that, but none of those things happened. You see, when crises occur, I go into the most peculiarly calm emotional state - nearly an absence of all emotion - and I consider things quite quickly and rationally in order to find a way to fix the problem. My thoughts were something like this. "This is a problem. How could this have happened? I clearly specified that I was after a hotel in Eufala Oklahoma! Stop. You will get angry. If you get angry at these people, they will not help you. Smile. Make yourself look friendly. Perhaps there is a room here anyways."

All that happened in less than a second. I said, "I am truly amazed. I thought I specified quite clearly that I wanted a hotel in Eufala, Oklahoma. Well, is there by any chance an available room that I can get without reservation?"

Looking quite apologetic, they said, "No, there is no room at all. If you like, we can see where the nearest branch of our hotel is which has an available room."

"Thank you," said I. "That would be very nice."

Time passed, more time passed, eventually they returned, and they said, "I am sorry but the nearest hotel in our chain which is not completely booked up is in Oklahoma City."

I reckoned up what this would mean to my plans. I saw that everything was doomed. I saw that I was going to be swept along in the whirlwind for a while. So, realizing that this was all some divine joke, I said, "Could you please then cancel the useless reservation in Eufala Alabama, and make me a reservation in Oklahoma City." Which they did. Another thirty minutes afterwards, I was on my way to OKC.

I got to my hotel on 122nd street on the north side of the city, reckoned that there was no chance anyone could possibly have waited this long, but still decided that I wanted some coffee. And hey! You never know: perhaps other people like an evening cup of coffee, too. It helps settle my nerves, it might do the same for others. So, following instructions that I copied from a thread here in this very forum, I went seeking Vintage Coffee, an especially good coffee shop located at 940 NW150th street, which some people describe as being "at the corner of 33rd street and Western." You see, they have the curious habit in Oklahoma of giving the same street more than one name, to make it harder for you to find the best coffee in the state. It's supposed to be a jealously guarded secret, but I have now told it to you...!

To be continued.

First thought: about education. Somebody asked me if I really am cruel to my students and if my attitude is what makes them be depressed. An unfair question, in my opinion. It's not one question you see.

I am NOT cruel to my students. I don't ask them to do anything unreasonable, and I don't fail them on a whim. They sign up with me to learn chemistry, and by Heaven, I expect them to learn CHEMISTRY in my class. I give large amounts of homework, mostly in the form of "drill." If you don't do a thing again and again and again, you don't get good at it. I had to "drill" quite a bit to get the knack of giving good lectures, but I flatter myself that I do a fairly good job at it these days. If they want to learn how the Ideal Gas Law (PV = nRT) works, or exactly what enthalpy as a state function means, then they are going to have to work with it again and again and again. Then, they are going to have to learn how to do it right in the lab, when I ask them to transmute one substance into another. This is harsh, I know, but it is not unfair, nor capricious, nor cruel. Some day, a person's life or livelihood might hinge upon them understanding that sodium hydroxide is the same thing as lye, and that they can make soap out of it and some nice pork fat.

Does my attitude cause depression? Most of my students have ADHD. In fact, I think most people do. Medication just seems to suppress their talent, without curing the problem. The one thing that really helps is to keep people busy, so that they don't have time to get bored. And yes, they suffer depression at first, then exhiliration afterwards when they achieve the impossible. That's a very nice moment, when you realize that you have just done something that certainly could not have been done. Depression comes and goes, but it is followed by the highest pitch of excitement and joy. And my attitude has absolutely nothing to do with it, I think. Oh, and ADHD isn't exactly a "problem," but rather a potential to do some really impressive stuff.

It's a moral task, being a teacher. You are asked by God to help people become as excellent as you can. I rather like my job. :)

Welcome Back, Dr Urchin

Since Google saw fit to cut my access to my old blog, when they purchased "blogspot", I am starting here again, after an absence of many months.