The Adventures of Dr Urchin, part I

AN ACCOUNT OF MY DOINGS, for the benefit of my friends, and with apologies to two particulary beautiful young women

When I go out seeking adventure, I usually find it, though not in the form of whatever I was actually expecting. In this case, I was expecting to spend a lovely couple of days at Lake Eufala, Oklahoma, on Saturday popping by two join two particularly beautiful young women (see the title) at a certain coffee shop in Oklahoma. Mind you, it's not everyone I would drive several hundred miles out of my way to go see, but in this case I was very much looking forward to the meeting.

However - and it is appropriate to interject this comment at this point - God and I do not always see eye to eye about where I am going to be and when. No doubt it is due to this disagreement, and to the fact that He always happens to win any argument (He cheats), that I have never LIKED God very much, though I serve him gladly, and even with love.

It is normally only about a seven hour drive from here to Oklahoma City. I set out on my trip very early on Saturday morning intending to pass through Eufala first to secure my hotel reservations, and expected to be at OKC by about 4 in the afternoon. The delays began immediately. In fact, there was the most improbable series of misfortunes on the road, none being catastrophic, but each taking off another quarter of an hour. No need to recount them all. They were mostly aggravating and some a little bit humiliating, as they were the consequence of my own wrong turns. Suffice to say that I started to get really annoyed after a while, and didn't reach Eufala until 4pm. This had made what should have been a six hour drive into a ten hour drive. I suspected already that there was intelligence behind my setbacks, and was not overly pleased.

But the capper was when I went to get my hotel. The exchange went something like this:

"Hello, my name is Dr Urchin, and I believe I have a reservation." (In fact, I used my real name.)

"I'm sorry, sir, we have no one reserved here under that name."

"There must be some mistake. Here is my confirmation number."

"Thank you, sir, I will go check and be right back with you."

A moment or two passed, then the young lady and her manager returned, looking somewhat apologetic. The manager looked at me and said:

"I'm sorry, but this reservation is for our hotel in Eufala, ALABAMA."

I would like to say that my jaw hit the floor, or that I exploded in rage or something like that, but none of those things happened. You see, when crises occur, I go into the most peculiarly calm emotional state - nearly an absence of all emotion - and I consider things quite quickly and rationally in order to find a way to fix the problem. My thoughts were something like this. "This is a problem. How could this have happened? I clearly specified that I was after a hotel in Eufala Oklahoma! Stop. You will get angry. If you get angry at these people, they will not help you. Smile. Make yourself look friendly. Perhaps there is a room here anyways."

All that happened in less than a second. I said, "I am truly amazed. I thought I specified quite clearly that I wanted a hotel in Eufala, Oklahoma. Well, is there by any chance an available room that I can get without reservation?"

Looking quite apologetic, they said, "No, there is no room at all. If you like, we can see where the nearest branch of our hotel is which has an available room."

"Thank you," said I. "That would be very nice."

Time passed, more time passed, eventually they returned, and they said, "I am sorry but the nearest hotel in our chain which is not completely booked up is in Oklahoma City."

I reckoned up what this would mean to my plans. I saw that everything was doomed. I saw that I was going to be swept along in the whirlwind for a while. So, realizing that this was all some divine joke, I said, "Could you please then cancel the useless reservation in Eufala Alabama, and make me a reservation in Oklahoma City." Which they did. Another thirty minutes afterwards, I was on my way to OKC.

I got to my hotel on 122nd street on the north side of the city, reckoned that there was no chance anyone could possibly have waited this long, but still decided that I wanted some coffee. And hey! You never know: perhaps other people like an evening cup of coffee, too. It helps settle my nerves, it might do the same for others. So, following instructions that I copied from a thread here in this very forum, I went seeking Vintage Coffee, an especially good coffee shop located at 940 NW150th street, which some people describe as being "at the corner of 33rd street and Western." You see, they have the curious habit in Oklahoma of giving the same street more than one name, to make it harder for you to find the best coffee in the state. It's supposed to be a jealously guarded secret, but I have now told it to you...!

To be continued.